My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
