I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
