i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
