I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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