Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
