so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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