Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits