I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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