apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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