after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
