ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
