Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
