i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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