Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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