yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
