So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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