R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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