I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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