You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
