I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
