I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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