It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
