dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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