Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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