it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
