make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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