and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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