Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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