she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
