you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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