I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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