she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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