what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
