The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
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We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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