I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
