Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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