he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
