My friends, they love my intelligence
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
