Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
