It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't deserve a penis
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
