cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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