Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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