Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
