so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
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Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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