Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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