I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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