it's not cheating when I paid for it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
