hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
