Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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