Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
