I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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