my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
