$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well I just put wine in my tea
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
