His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize