your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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