i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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