Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Please don't give away my fajitas
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
