Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
