i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize