how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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