me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
