so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Small penises have feelings too.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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