True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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